my thoughts, my dreams, my life

C’est la vie Disyembre 7, 2007

Filed under: filipino,life,personal,random thoughts,taglish — carmzy @ 6:45 hapon

 “Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible.” — Jane Rubietta (rom Quiet Places)

It’s been a while since I last blogged. Almost a month, based on my archives. Ang daming gumugulo sa isip ko. Could it be because of the holiday season? Di ko alam. This has been a rough year for me.

I’ve gone through things in my life that were firsts for me. And they have affected me a great deal. Pero dapat bang magmukmok ako? Hindi rin. We all go through trials in our lives. I just hope I will be strong and wise enough to tackle those challenges.

That’s life after all. Hindi pwedeng puro saya na lang. Dahil kung puro saya, paano mo malalaman ang difference between joy and pain? And there have been painful moments this year. It made me appreciate the things I used to take for granted.

Pero minsan I still can’t help but feel down. Tao lang naman ako. Masakit mang isipin pero marami rin akong pagkakamaling nagawa sa buhay ko. I just hope na natuto na ako and not repeat history.

It’s time to pick up the pieces and move on. I need to quit dwelling on the past and move on. Ika nga ni Leann Rimes “Life goes on.” And finally, sabi ni Ol’ Blue Eyes “That’s life.” (“,)


777 Nobyembre 17, 2007

Filed under: pinoy,random thoughts,tagged — carmzy @ 4:01 umaga

I’m not real familiar with tagging, but I was tagged by Glitch ( . I hope I did this right (“,).

Here are the rules:

  • Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
  • Pick other bloggers you like to know better.
  • Let them know you’ve tagged them by leaving a comment on their blog.
  • And don’t forget to give them the rules.

Things about me that are related to the number 7:

1. I’ve been with the same man for 7 years now. His first name has 7 letters.

2. My 7 favorite movies are: Silence of the Lambs, Men of Honor, While You Were Sleeping, The Saint, The Green Mile, Sleeping with the Enemy, The Notebook.

3. I was 7 years old when I moved to Manila from Legaspi, Bicol.

4. I lived in Las Vegas for 7 years. Now, I live in a city that has 7 letters.

5. I take Vit. C- 500mg 7 days a week.

6. 7 belongings I love to use: cellphone, laptop, flat iron, palm pilot, T.V. remote control, eyelash curler, crocs

7. One word that will describe me in 7 letters: makulit

Since idotmatrix ( got me started with blogging, I’m tagging her first.


Hay buhay! Nobyembre 5, 2007

Filed under: life,pinoy,random thoughts,tagalog — carmzy @ 2:45 umaga

Once upon a time may kakwentuhan ako. Napag-usapan namin ang buhay-buhay. Dumating sa punto na itinanong ko sa kanya “Hindi ka ba minsan nalulungkot?”. Natanong ko to dahil ang kausap ko ay single and still mingling. Medyo nagulat ako sa sinagot nya “It’s lonelier if you’re with someone you don’t love.” 

Nagulat ako hindi dahil sa mali ang sinabi nya. Sa katunayan, totoo yun. Nung sinabi nya yun, medyo napatigil ako. I never expected to hear those words. I guess in the back of my mind i’ve had the same thought.

Minsan dumadating sa punto ng ibang tao na kailangan nilang pumili. Kesyo tumatanda na, pressure ng mga magulang o ano pa mang dahilan. Ano ang pipiliin mo? Magkaroon ng kasama sa buhay kahit hindi mo naman talaga gusto o mahal yung tao O maging single forever? Alin ang mas kaya mong tiisin?

Lahat tayo may kanya-kanyang kwento. Meron sa atin na gustong magkaroon ng pamilya. Ilang anak? Depende na yun. Meron namang iba na wala talagang balak magkaanak. Meron namang iba na may anak na nga, pero iba na ang relasyon sa tatay ng bata o mga bata. Yung iba naman, nagpapasya na magkaanak kahit sino na lang ang tatay. O kaya naman, wala pang anak pero iba na ang lagay ng relationship.

May mga tao namang natatakot na pakawalan ang kung ano mang mayroon sila ngayon; kahit alam nila sa puso nila na hindi sila masaya. Takot na baka mas pangit ang kalalabasan ng buhay nila. Takot na baka mali ang maging desisyon. Takot na baka kung ano ang sabihin ng ibang tao. Takot na baka magkaroon ng pagbabago ang buhay nila, dahil nasanay na sila sa araw-araw na routine. Takot dahil hindi alam kung paano magsisimulang muli. Takot dahil hindi pa handang sagutin ang mga sariling pangangailangan. Takot dahil ayaw makasakit. Takot dahil ayaw ng nag-iisa sa buhay.

May iba namang pilit naghahanap ng makakasama sa buhay. Date here, date there. Kahit sino sige. Malay mo sya na nga* Dahil sa kagustuhang magkapamilya. Dahil sa kagustuhang masunod ang mga kapritso o kaartehan sa buhay. Dahil sa gustong magkaroon ng kasama habang tumatanda. Kahit sino ok lang?

At meron namang iba sa atin na tatandang binata o dalaga. Hindi dahil sa walang mahanap, kundi dahil hindi raw naghahanap. Ang dahilan? Sakit lang daw sa ulo. Magastos. Madrama. Gusto ng habambuhay na kalayaan. Ayaw ng minamanduhan. Hindi people person. Etc.

Buhay nga naman. Ang hirap uriratin minsan. Kanya-kanyang disenyo, kanya-kanyang diskarte, kanya-kanyang kwento.


What’s so special about lobster? Oktubre 21, 2007

Filed under: life,pinoy,ramblings,random thoughts — carmzy @ 12:20 umaga

Just got home from dinner at Red Lobster. I don’t get it. Why is lobster so darn expensive? It tastes just like shrimp or crabs really. I know they say it’s more difficult to catch bla bla bla. I really don’t get it.  Why would you pay that much for something that tastes similarly with shrimp! Ahhhhhhh. Never will I order lobster again!

And it’s not about the money. I’d be willing to pay as much if it tasted like nothing else. But NO! Not even worth the money . Forget that. I’ll just have some big juicy steak hehehe. Can you tell I’m not a big fan of seafood except fish???


I love you not because.. Oktubre 20, 2007

Filed under: love,personal,pinoy,poetry,random thoughts — carmzy @ 1:19 umaga

I love you not because you put up with my drama,

            but because you are always there when I need you.

I love you not because you tell me I’m beautiful,

            but because you love me despite my flaws.

I love you not because you laugh at my jokes,

            but because you do your best to make me smile everyday.

I love you not because you tell me you do ,

            but because you put your words into action.

I love you not because you give me guidance,

            but because you listen when I need you to.

I love you not because you spoil me,

            but because you do it in a special way.

I love you not because you love me too,

           but because there is no one else like you.





Please lang… Oktubre 19, 2007

Filed under: personal,pinoy,ramblings,random thoughts,tagalog — carmzy @ 11:58 hapon

Bakit ba lahat na lang kailangan mong malaman? Wala na ba akong pwedeng sarilihin? Lahat ba ng bawat detalye sa isip ko sasabihin ko sayo? Bakit, dahil entitled ka? Dahil may karapatan ka?

Yan ang hirap sayo. Ultimo ba naman private thoughts ko? Give me a break naman kahit paminsan minsan lang. Di naman ibig sabihin nun na ayaw ko na sayo o di kita mahal.

May mga bagay talaga minsan na gusto kong ako lang may alam. Di ibig sabihin na may tinatago ako sayo. Bakit lahat ba ng iniisip mo sinasabi mo sa kin? I didn’t think so. So please, cool ka lang. Blog lang to (“,)


Isn’t it funny?

Filed under: life,personal,ramblings,random thoughts — carmzy @ 8:19 hapon

Isn’t it funny the way things happen unexpectedly? How did I get here in the first place? This isn’t how I planned my life to be. And all those other thoughts that pop into my head….

I have to keep reminding myself that HE has a plan for me. HE decides what’ll happen next. I’m just here to fulfill that plan.

Ever heard of the saying “Things happen for a reason”? I totally believe in that. Each detail in our lives is there for a reason. Whether it be a person, failure, trial, success, loss, etc. So whenever things don’t go according to plan, I try not to frown.

The keyword being, “try”.  Hey I’m only human. I can’t help it if I get emotional at times. Frowning is just the beginning. Get yourself a box of Kleenex when I’m in this state hehehe. Good thing it only happens once in a while. If not, I’ll become dehydrated from you know what.